Tag Archive: woman

Mar 22

Growing Tomatoes

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen,”What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?” The gentlemen …

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Mar 19

Bridge

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can …

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Aug 26

Annual Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat… As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted …

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Aug 20

A Judge

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made …

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Aug 18

Cabbie

One dismal rainy night in Sydney a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping …

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Jul 31

Home In No Time

A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were heavily laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line. When the cashier called for a …

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May 02

Man Overboard

An couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the ship watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the man overboard. They searched for days and couldn’t find him. So the captain sent the woman back to shore with the promise that he …

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Apr 02

Blonde Woman

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong with the car and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, “Oh, it’s …

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Feb 29

Three Envelopes

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. “Sidney thought of everything,” she told them. “Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. `Tillie,’ he told me, ‘I have put all my …

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Dec 17

Negligee

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, Mom forgot until the last minute. So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nighty. She bought …

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