Tag Archive: shopping

Nov 01

A Little Old Lady

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping.She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper. “Pardon me, sir,” she says to the store manager,”but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?” “Well,” he replies pointing out one brand,”this is as soft as a baby’s kiss. It’s …

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Oct 16

Washing The Dishes

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it’s missing a seal, so whenever it rains, he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. His girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He rides his new bike to …

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Jul 31

Home In No Time

A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were heavily laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line. When the cashier called for a …

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Jun 19

Dining Out

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she’ll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, ‘Who was that??!!’ ‘Oh,’ replies the husband, ‘that was my …

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Nov 15

A Guy Goes To The Supermarket

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken a back because he can’t place where he knows her. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” Now his mind travels …

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Jun 04

Expensive Barbie

A man was driving home from work one evening when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t yet bought her a gift. So, the man rushed off to the nearest toy store and asked the sales clerk, “How much is that Barbie in the window?” The sales clerk replied in …

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May 05

Do You Sell Dil

A little old lady with blue hair entered the marital aids shop and asked in a quavering voice, “Yy-young man, dd-do y-you sell d-dil-ldoes h-here?” The sa lesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady’s appearance in his shop, answered, “Uh, yes, Ma’am. We do.” The little old lady, holding her quivering hands about …

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Apr 12

Who’s George

The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. “How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?” “Oh, mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat and …

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Apr 11

Husband And Wife Are Shopping

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a …case of Bud Lite and puts it in their cart. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife. ‘They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans’, he replies. ‘Put them back, it’s a waste of money’, demands the wife, …

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Mar 11

Clean-Up On Aisle 9

A man and his wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their cart. “What do you think you’re doing?” his wife asks. “They’re on sale, only $15 for 24 cans.” He replies. “Put them back, we can’t afford them,”‘ demands the wife, and …

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