Tag Archive: old lady

Nov 01

A Little Old Lady

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping.She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper. “Pardon me, sir,” she says to the store manager,”but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?” “Well,” he replies pointing out one brand,”this is as soft as a baby’s kiss. It’s …

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Oct 11

The Elevator

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially two shiny walls that could move apart, and back together again. The boy asked his father, “What is this father?” The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this …

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May 05

A Wealthy Old Lady

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, “Uh, oh!” Noticing some bones on the …

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Oct 21

The Hat

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this …

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Aug 13

Infrequently

An elderly couple who are both widowed have been courting for a long time. They decide it’s finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they go out to dinner and talk about how their marriage might work. They discuss finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the man broaches the subject of their physical …

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Jul 25

A Young Man Walking Through A Supermarket

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my …

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May 20

A Pastor’s Wife Was Expecting

A pastor’s wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher’s family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher’s …

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May 09

Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners. “Go …

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May 05

Do You Sell Dil

A little old lady with blue hair entered the marital aids shop and asked in a quavering voice, “Yy-young man, dd-do y-you sell d-dil-ldoes h-here?” The sa lesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady’s appearance in his shop, answered, “Uh, yes, Ma’am. We do.” The little old lady, holding her quivering hands about …

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Jan 16

$20

A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, “Ma’am, There are $20 bills falling out of your bag.” “‘Oh, …

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