Tag Archive: morning

Mar 28

Camp

Four guys were at a deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept in the …

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Feb 15

Looking For Sex

When I went to City Hall to renew my dog’s license I told the clerk I wanted a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like one too!” Then I said, “But this is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I …

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Oct 18

A Lion

A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?” The trembling monkey said, “You are, mighty lion!” Later, the lion confronted a deer and bellowed, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?” The terrified deer stammered, “Oh great lion, …

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Sep 26

Husband

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.” Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the phamacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a few words, the druggist told him, …

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Jun 23

The Horse

    This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and swacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. He asks, ‘What was that for?’ She replies, ‘What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with …

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Apr 15

Wake Up Call

A man and his wife were having some problems and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he’d need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of …

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Jan 18

A Doctor And His Wife

  A doctor and his wife are having an argument in the morning over breakfast and the doctor blurts out, “You know what? You’re not that great in bed anyways!” So he goes off to work and thinks it over and decides to call his wife and make amends….. So he calls the house and …

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Jan 03

Little Johnny And The Pastor

One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said …

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Dec 28

Postman

One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighbourhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys …

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Dec 14

One Sunday Morning

One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, William’s dad took him aside. “Son, I have to talk with you. …

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