Tag Archive: men

Mar 01

Potty Trained

While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. “Just a minute,” I said, thinking of …

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Feb 02

The Last Request

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning to …

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Apr 20

The Burial

An old man and woman were married for years even though they never got along. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. “When I die I will dig my way up and out …

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Apr 16

Door To Door

Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, …

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Apr 10

THE PERFECT HUSBAND

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: “Hello” WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” MAN: “Yes.” WOMAN: “I’m at …

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Apr 08

Three Desperately ill Men Met With Their Doctor One Day

Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual sex addict. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, “If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die.” The men …

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Apr 02

Horse Race

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do …

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Mar 28

Your Brother Named Them

A woman was rushed into the hospital in an ambulance as she was just about to give birth to twins. At the hospital the lady was in such pain she had to be sedated. A couple of hours after the babies had been delivered, she woke up and asked to see her children. “Doctor, could …

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Mar 27

A Confident Genius

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, “Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don’t know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can’t answer yours I will give you $5,000.” The idiot says, “Okay.” The …

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Mar 21

Mike

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, “Did your hear the news – Mike is dead!?!” “Woah, what the hell happened to him?” “Well, he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house, he didn’t brake properly and BOOM! He hit …

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