Tag Archive: married

Sep 10

A Married Couple Is Driving

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, “I don’t …

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Jul 03

A Newly Married Couple

A newly-married couple came home from their honeymoon and moved into the upstairs apartment they’d rented from the groom’s parents. That night, the father of the groom was awakened from his sleep by his wife. “Tony, listen!” she whispered. He listened. Upstairs, the bed was creaking in rhythm. The wife said, “Come on, Tony! Let’s …

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May 30

A Teacher Is Teaching A Class

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, …

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Mar 30

Wedding Preparation

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Devon, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemists. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?” The chemist answers, …

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Feb 16

Virgin Wife

A recently married couple retire to their honeymoon suite. Before hopping into bed the bride says, “Now honey, you’ll be gentle with me won’t you. You know that I’m still a virgin.” This clearly surprises the man, “What are you saying. Aren’t I your third husband?” The woman replied, “Yes, but my first husband was …

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Feb 06

Asian Lady And English Gentleman

There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. …

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Dec 20

Three Women

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided they needed to spice up their love lives. All three agreed to wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes that evening with their respective lovers. After a few days they meet up for …

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Dec 14

One Sunday Morning

One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, William’s dad took him aside. “Son, I have to talk with you. …

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Aug 14

Church Members

Three couples went in to see the minister about becoming new members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the third couple was …

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Aug 13

Infrequently

An elderly couple who are both widowed have been courting for a long time. They decide it’s finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they go out to dinner and talk about how their marriage might work. They discuss finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the man broaches the subject of their physical …

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