Tag Archive: god

Apr 02

Heaven

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.” The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had …

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Aug 24

Dolly Parton And Queen Elizabeth

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day. They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven. The angel said “Unfortunately, there’s only one space in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted.” The Angel asked …

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Aug 14

Three Bears

It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family are just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?!” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his …

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Jul 13

Shark

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of a sudden he sees a shark in the water, so he starts swimming furiously towards his boat. As he looks back, he sees the shark turn and head towards him. He’s scared to death, and as he sees the jaws of the great white beast …

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Mar 13

A 70 Years Old Man Goes To Doctor

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor’s for a physical.The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ”Well, everythingseems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? Howis your connection with God?” And the man says, ”Oh me and God? We’re tight. We have a real bond,he’s good to me. Every …

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Sep 25

An Atheist’s Holiday

An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations. He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long, passionate presentation by the atheist’s lawyer, the judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case dismissed!” …

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May 20

A Pastor’s Wife Was Expecting

A pastor’s wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher’s family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher’s …

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Apr 14

When Hell Freezes Over

An Engineer dies and goes to hell. He’s hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The air-conditioning has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was …

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Mar 12

God In His Infinite Wisdom

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: “Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what …

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Nov 28

The Physical

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor’s for a physical. The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ”Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?” And the man says, ”Oh me and God? We’re tight. We have a real bond, he’s …

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