Tag Archive: funny joke

Jan 30

The Helpful Wife

A man and his wife were driving on the highway when a state policeman appears in their mirror and obviously wants them to pull over. State cop: “License and registration please. I clocked you on the radar going 75 mph.” Man: “There must be some mistake I was only going 65.” Wife: “Oh, honey, you …

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Jan 25

The Statue

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said, “stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s …

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Jan 24

Suspicious Couple In A Car

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked …

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Jan 23

The Accident

A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, “Wow, look at our cars – there’s nothing left! Thank God we are all right. This must be a sign from Him …

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Jan 21

Squeezing A Lemon

Once there was a bartender who claimed he was the strongest man on earth, he could squeeze every drop of juice out of a lemon and he bet $10,000 that no one could squeeze anymore out of a lemon he has squeezed. People came in from all over the country, body builders, weight lifters, wrestlers, …

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Jan 20

Chicken Crossing

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the sheriff’s office …

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Jan 20

Mother’s Milk

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. “Breast-fed” she replied. “Well, strip down to your waist,” the …

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Jan 19

A Lesson In Good Manners

A teacher who was trying to teach her students good manners, asked them the following question: “Johnny, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you politely tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?” Johnny said, “Just a minute. I have to go pee.” The …

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Jan 17

Little Notes

An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. When they get home, the wife says, “Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write …

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Jan 16

Hotel Room Charges

A husband and wife were traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they’re felt too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stopped at a nice hotel and took a room, but they only planned to sleep for four hours and then …

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