Tag Archive: death

Aug 25

Two Women At The Pearly Gates

Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died. Woman #1: I froze to death. Woman #2: How horrible! Woman #1: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about …

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Mar 24

Bran Muffins

The couple was 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One …

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Mar 21

Mike

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, “Did your hear the news – Mike is dead!?!” “Woah, what the hell happened to him?” “Well, he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house, he didn’t brake properly and BOOM! He hit …

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Feb 22

Lucky

Mary and her husband Jim had a dog, Lucky. Lucky was a real character and whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit, they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably someone would forget and something would come …

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Jan 28

Funeral Expenses

A woman’s husband dies. He had $20,000 to his name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is no money left. The friend says, “How can that be? You told me he had $20,000 a few days before he died. How could you be broke?” …

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