Tag Archive: christmas

Feb 01

Christmas Present

A little boy sits on Santa’s lap. Santa says “I bet I know what you want for Christmas,” and with his finger he taps the boys nose with every letter he spells “T-O-Y-S”. The little boy thinks a second and says, “No, I have enough toys.” Santa replies once again tapping the boys nose with …

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Jul 31

Home In No Time

A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were heavily laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line. When the cashier called for a …

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Jan 20

After The Office Party

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. “Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. …

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Dec 28

Postman

One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighbourhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys …

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Sep 25

An Atheist’s Holiday

An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations. He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long, passionate presentation by the atheist’s lawyer, the judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case dismissed!” …

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Apr 24

All Aboard

A few days after Christmas, Martha was in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell, “All you sons of b*tches who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop! …

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Dec 24

They Look Like Regular Christmas Lights, But When I Heard ‘Let It Go’ I Had To Watch

A family form Austin, Texas, took their love for Frozen to another level. They synchronized their Christmas lights to the tune of the Oscar winning song: “Let It Go.” About three weeks were needed to install and program these beautiful and ultra green decorations (it only costs $6 in electricity to run it for the …

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Dec 03

Running A Train

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bi*ches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last …

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Oct 22

Christmas with Bubba J – Jeff Dunham

Source:http://www.youtube.com/

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Oct 19

Pearly Gates~~~

THREE MEN DIED ON CHRISTMAS EVE AND WERE MET BY SAINT PETER AT THE PEARLY GATES. ‘In honor of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’ The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It’s a candle’, …

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