Tag Archive: bartender

Feb 10

A Cowboy Walks Into A Bar

A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a whisky. When the bartender delivers the drink, the cowboy asks, “Where is everybody?” The bartender replies, “They’ve gone to the hanging.” “Hanging? Who are they hanging?” “Brown Paper Pete,” the bartender replied. “What kind of a name is that?” the cowboy asked. “Well,” says the bartender. …

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Jul 10

Two Drunks

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s …

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Jun 06

The Big Squeeze

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest manaround that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. …

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Apr 30

The Healer

A semi-crippled Libertarian came into a bar and with difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the bar stool, pulled himself up and asked for a sip of whiskey. He looked down the bar and asked, “Is that Jesus down there?” The bartender nodded and the Libertarian told him to give Jesus a whiskey also. The …

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May 04

6 Double Vodkas

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says, “Wow! You must have had one hell of a day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the …

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Apr 13

Someone Under My Bed

  Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him, “I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.” “Just put yourself in my …

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Mar 29

Muscular Man

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can’t help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, ”You know, I’m not gay but …

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Feb 01

The Rider

After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting. Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked: “How did your game go? The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round … making the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not …

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Jan 21

Squeezing A Lemon

Once there was a bartender who claimed he was the strongest man on earth, he could squeeze every drop of juice out of a lemon and he bet $10,000 that no one could squeeze anymore out of a lemon he has squeezed. People came in from all over the country, body builders, weight lifters, wrestlers, …

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