Tag Archive: Age

May 23

Play Your Age

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in ‘Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?” A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, “I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?” He …

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Mar 26

Hello

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.” The …

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Mar 15

Just Stay

The nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. “Your son is here,” she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. …

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Mar 02

I’m In Love

An eighty-five-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what’s wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, “I’m in love with a twenty-three year-old woman.” “What’s wrong with that?” asks the young man. Between his sobs and sniffles, he answers, “You don’t understand, every …

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Feb 26

Not Much Of A Man

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three members of a notorious motorcycle gang walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old mans pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the …

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Feb 24

The Interview

There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she had recently gotten married. The local news station decided to interview her. The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her 90s. “This isn’t my first husband, so it’s not much different than the …

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Feb 23

The Race

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to a Doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?” The doctor replies, “A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!” “That’s a …

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Feb 19

Honesty Pays

A woman is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?” A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, “I don’t know. Why don’t you play your age?” …

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